


all broken and torn, and we could be stars

by blackpercy



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, alex doesn't know how to handle kids lmao, anyway alex and carlos are a really adorable duo, this is canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27212947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackpercy/pseuds/blackpercy
Summary: Sleeping was supposed to be revitalizing, calming, and a well-liked activity.Alex wouldn’t know, he hasn't been able to sleep a wink.
Relationships: Alex & Carlos Molina, Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 129





	all broken and torn, and we could be stars

Being human again had a lot of pros and cons. One, they could eat now, which was the only thing Reggie ever wanted to do, much to Flynn’s disgust.

The second thing was sleep. Which was the only thing Luke ever did now, too. Sleeping was supposed to be revitalizing, calming, and a well-liked activity.

Alex wouldn’t know, he hasn't been able to sleep a wink.

He’s lying on his back, his hands folded on his stomach and his face turned to the window. The half-moon shined down on him, his blond hair glowing silver in the moonlight. 

The small sight of the moon made Alex think of Willie. He was probably looking up at the same moon as him, maybe he was on his skateboard.

Wait, would Willie still be stalking Justin Bieber’s pool?

Alex hates that thought, so he brushes it away. He swings his Superman symbol clad legs over the side, slips on a recently-bought knit sweater, and goes to the kitchen. He has recently discovered a newfound love for Twinkies, and that would be the easiest therapy for his battle with insomnia.

Insomnia.

As Alex travels down the steps to the kitchen, he mulls over the word in his mind. He had been reading a lot on the Internet lately, and, through a wondrous journey through a tool called _Google_ , he discovered his bout of sleeplessness was called “insomnia”.

It’s a mysterious, daunting word. It makes him feel unusually ill in the sense that a doctor can’t cure him. 

It also makes sense in many ways. Before he joined Sunset Curve, there were a lot of sleepless nights where Alex would toss and turn thinking about that guy in English class. The skater with tightly coiled hair, shaved sides, and warm dark skin.

Apparently, Alex has a thing for skaters, dating to _before_ his coming out.

Alex flips a switch. The Molina household somehow stays comforting, even in the darkness. It’s been so long since Alex spent time in a familial area, in a home. When the band was staying here, it was just a living quarter. Now, it has a warm color palette, throw pillows, and pictures of Julie and Carlos on the walls. Alex thinks it flatters the old walls, he’s happy for the house. It deserves a nice family.

Alex flips a switch and opens the pantry. “ _Twinkies...Twinkies…_ ” 

It may have been selfish, but Alex loves that he has the atmosphere for himself. Just to stew in, to...to breathe.

Then someone says a very colorful word right behind and Alex isn’t so sure he’s alone anymore.

He turns abruptly to see Carlos, wide-eyed and grinning, staring right back at him.

“You look like a grandpa!” He says cheerfully. Alex rolls his eyes.

“Thanks for that. By the way, who taught you that word?”

“Luke, but he said not to tell you.” 

Alex raises a blond eyebrow. Luke had always been a bit of a foul mouth, his earnest passion for all aspects of life guaranteed such a thing. Carlos settles on the counter in front of him, cocking his head innocently.

“What are you doing awake?” He asks. Alex looks him up and down, it was a bit of a hypocritical question.

“Kid, what are _you_ doing awake?”

“You haven’t even graduated high school.”

“I dropped out.”

“Then you died.” Carlos reaches for an apple in a fruit bowl and bites into it, thoughtfully chewing before staring back at Alex. He kind of wishes that the child didn’t have such inquiring brown eyes. It looks like he’s psychoanalyzing him.

“Do you even sleep?” 

The question is simple, but it takes Alex aback anyway. Again, Willie’s smiling brown eyes and reckless zest for life invade his mind. 

Every single night, he gets ready for bed just to lie awake. The feeling of his arms wrapping around him in one last hug haunts him as he lies in bed, the world falling asleep and waking up while he is stuck in an everlasting cycle of “what if”.

Alex laughs ruefully, he meets Carlos’ brown eyes with his blue. “I haven’t slept since he left.”

If he wanted to be technical, he would say that he hadn’t slept since the night before the first Orpheum gig, aka the night before he freaking died. 

But Alex knows that, if not for his chance encounter with Willie, he would be sleeping, blissfully unaware of a boy with long dark hair and an affinity for skating the length of Los Angeles.

Carlos frowns. “Are you in love with him?”

Alex mirrors his expression, thinking. His gaze trails to the window, where the moon glows in her soft, unassuming manner. Was he in love with Willie? Could you be in love with someone you’ve known for less than a year?

Alex didn’t know. He hates not knowing.

Technical terms and Wiki-How pages are brought up as he tries to distinguish the line between love and infatuation. He recalls an image from some social media site that said “if they get a haircut and they’re ugly, it’s a crush”.

Alex doesn’t think Willie is capable of being ugly.

He turns to Carlos. The boy looks like he specifically orchestrated Alex’s recent crisis. He’s smiling coyly, the way an ancient being whose plan has just been put into action would smile. He shivers. The kid’s powers of deduction were a bit creepy.

“I think I am,” Alex says quietly. He stares at his socks. They’re fuzzy and red, really comfortable, and easy on the soles, which, according to a lifestyle blog, is very important in sock selection. 

“I think I’m in love with Willie,” Alex repeats himself more certainly. He lifts his chin, and his eyes sting because the next sentence is even more painful to force out. “And I think I realized that too late.”

**Author's Note:**

> thx for reading! please leave a comment about what you liked and any constructive criticism! :)


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